Home » Blog » Finding my way in the Horrible Beautiful

Finding my way in the Horrible Beautiful

IMG_1627Some astrologers say, “We are in a potent period between two major eclipses,” Some say the world axis really has shifted. I don’t know. Maybe getting older I am more able to be present to hard truths without abandoning myself or others.

I do know that politics has never felt as harsh or as important. I’m hearing stories of people in institutions fighting low morale amid financial and interpersonal destabilization.

I see people facing levels of truth and waking up from denial. I am doing this too.

As I “wake up” to the “horrible beautiful” realities of loss, death, financial challenge, addiction, health challenges, racism, economic despair, entrepreneurial struggles, earth changes, I am challenged by the presence of despair, rage, doubt, and shame. These emotions are oceanic collective truths. As an individual I am not able to survive them. I believe I am to be in touch with them like I am with the mighty ocean. Connect to their presence, but not abandon myself to them.

The rips and currents of collective anguish need collective forms. Dance, drum, song in loving rituals are the best way to respond. Creative energy and ritual give us boats on these oceans so that we might be carried through.

With decades of self help and therapy we may have become overconfident in our physical ability to right wrongs and endure the horrible. My dance with rage has taught me to put that sword down again and again. It feeds on itself. So, l literally take my body out of those oceans with full respect to the pull of their riptides and currents. I am able to feel psychically connected but not swept up by horror.

As a spiritual companion, I am humbled to witness individuals taking their soulwork both seriously and playfully. For them beauty is always possible even when plagued with injury, disease, systemic oppression, violence, or the tremendous challenge of being true to deep passion and love. Indeed it is often the beauty that arises from their spiritual intelligence, practice, and support that is the medicine needed in times like these.

In my tradition this week is dedicated to the beautiful horrible. Trial, Betrayal, Crucifixion, Death. The ones who find the path through the horror to love hold the key. But, we have to do this in the WE. So, getting through horror and arriving in beauty is about being in it together informally, formally, and systemically.

Do not abandon ship!

My core directive is the Courage to Love. I feel my soul (my deepest core) sourced by something consistent and beautiful. I go there and invite you to go there, too. Let creativity and beauty fuel and transform suffering.

As for myself, I must be designed for beauty and grace, because my bodyspirit keeps rising in resilience. I am shocked at this resurrecting lifeforce in us. Thanks to each of you who shares your own truth and story around this. May we continue to be humbled!


  1. CathyAnn says:

    Deep bow. Deep gratitude for you sister. As I get ready for my upcoming show about climate change, which has challenged me to my core, your words are very helpful. love youxoxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *