I have a laundry list of tough things: family deaths, addictions, fires, politics, upheavals, the vulnerability of new life in a world where housing, health care, and work feel daunting. It’s too big to carry. I tell myself not to run the list but then I worry I won’t remember what I need to process. I tell myself to let it go. I don’t have to remember. Dive under the tsunami into the still places. I get some rest and in comes another hit. The latest? A leak and mold in my kitchen. Mold created havoc in my mom’s life right before she got Alzheimers. Yikes. I move out, feeling displaced.
Fortunately, I know when to call out for support.
I need a good spiritual director. Oh, Wait! I do have a good spiritual director.
I need a good therapist. Oh, Wait! I do have a good therapist.
I need a good naturopath. Oh, Wait! I do have a good naturopath.
I need a good pastor and church. Oh, Wait! I do have a good pastor and church.
I need some support from Alanon. Oh, Wait! I do have good support from ALanon.
I need a meaningful vocation. Oh, Wait! I do have a meaningful vocation.
I need time off. Oh, Wait! I can take time off.
I need a good partner. Oh, Wait! I do have a good partner.
I need supportive colleagues. Oh, Wait! I have supportive colleagues.
I need more art. Oh, Wait! I am doing art.
I need good friends. Oh, Wait! I have good friends.
The only thing I don’t have is a good government and a world that is equitable for all. Without this my world turns out to be even harder.
In these crazy hard times I wound up with adrenal fatigue. Of course! Without the good help all around me I probably wouldn’t have made it this far.
The good news? It is well with my soul.
What does this mean? I check in with my soul, that eternal, unbreakable source in me. Yes, I feel it. Touching in, I am steadied. Do you know what I mean?
Being well in my soul does not mean my bodyspirit isn’t wobbly and laboring. I’ve had to admit myself into a kind of psychic hospital. Today I write from the imaginal hospital garden, grateful for all of the exo-sceletal muscles of community that support and guide me. My leadership is absolutely a team effort. I suspect that is true of everyone.
Deep in this labor of living, there is always the danger of miscarriage or even loss of life. I am not fooled. That is why I stick close to care for my body and my soul. If the Creative Force is to carry me into the future then I must bear the contractions as well as the expansions. So here I am breathing into love.
In a few days, if the fates allow, I will head to Australia to join with InterPlay community and take a bit of a walk about.
I would love to hear what you have learned when you have been deeply taxed. I know that this happens to most of us. Today, I am bowing in humility to your beauty.