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Body Wisdom of the Heart: Love Pain

I read Hands of  Life:  An  Energy  Healer  Reveals  the  Secrets  of  Using  Your Body’s Own  Energy  Medicine  for  Healing,  Recovery  and  Transformation. In it Julie  Motz  identifies  four  basic  emotions:  anger,  pain,  anxiety,  and  love.  Each  energy  moves  through  a  specific  part  of  the  body.  Anger  moves  through  muscles,  pain  moves  through  bone,  and  anxiety  moves  through  nerves.  All  emotions  are  clean  and  neutral  as  they  move  through  their  appropriate  path.  When  they  don’t  move  through  that  natural  path  there  are  problems.  


Emotions  are  clean.  They  are  pure  like  weather  that  necessarily  comes  and  goes  in  an  ecosystem  keeping  its  balance.  As  a  highly  emotional,  empathetic  person  it  is  liberating  to think  of  emotion  as  neutral,  clean,  and  valuable,  yet  not  ultimate.  Emotions  are  not  a  problem  if  they  move  in  a  healthy  way.  


In  her  four-­‐emotion  construct  Motz  calls  the  energy  of  love  “the  weak  force,”  weak  in  that  it  moves  indirectly,  almost  imperceptibly  through  lymphatic,  synovial,  jointoiled  places. This inextricable,  weak  force  also  lives  in  atoms  and  the  abundant  grace  of  water,  that  powerhouse  of  life.    

Weakness  is  something  I  know  about.  When  I  weep  or  laugh  my  vulnerable  strength  is  refortified.  God  appears.  How  odd  is  that?  The feeling  of  letting  go,  surrendering  seems  to  open  the  space  for  this  force.  This  makes  me  think of  play.  Play  is  indirect,  purposeless,  light,  sneaky,  spacious,  and  tricky.  Great  ways  to  find  the  weak  force  in  the  body  is  to    

 Squirm  around  and  oil  your  joints.    

 Wobble  your  body  and  head  

 Breathe  and  hum.    

 Roll,  rest  and  flop  around  on  the  floor  

 Rock  or  slosh  the  water  in  you.  

 Snorkel  


To  Foster  Soul  Love it helps to

  •  Hunt  for  love.  Look  for  people  who  extend  themselves  to  others.  Love  is  generous.  Learn  to  see  it,  get  near  it,  and  welcome  it  even  when  humans  are  unreliable  at  providing  it.  In  religious  places people agree to report  their glimpses  of  divine  love  and honor  it.  
  • Look for  people  who affirm.  Affirming  environments  are  conducive  to  soul.  You’ll  see  people’s faces exude light.  They  rarely  recognize  it themselves,  but  you  can  see  it.  
  • Play with whole,  whole  bodied,  wholehearted  quiet  or  ecstatic  activities.  Real  play  is  unconditional.  Mistakes  are  part  of  the  fun.  Don’t  be  distracted  about  whether  the  play  is  spiritual.    
  •  Discover  your  big  bodyspirit.  You  are  not  bound  to  a  single  moment,  sensation,  or  form  of  knowing.  Your  bodyspirit  extends  into  ancestry  and  the  future.  Present  time  is  not  a  minute  or  day.  It’s  an  experience  bigger  than  any  event  of  fear  and  hate,  a  place  that  precedes  injury,  the place  of  fore  giving.  Can’t  reach  that  place?  Ask  the  saints  and  ancestors  to  take  you  there.  They  know  where  it  is.  Otherwise,  focusing  on  what  is wrong  leaves  you  in  the  hell  of  prolonged  pain,  distress  and  disease.   
  •  Literally  dance  between  the  great  body  of  Love  and  today’s  struggle.  This  is  the  easiest  way  to  include  all  of  life.
  •  Practice  receiving.  Rest,  waiting,  and  relaxing  are  ways  to  receive.  We can simultaneously  give  and  receive, a key  to  the ability to flow  with  life  and  love. One  of  my  FAVORITE  ways  to  connect  is a  hand-­‐to-­‐hand  dance of  heart,  eyes,  and  more.  With  a  partner,  you  can enter  a  profound  yet  manageable  dance  of  intimacy. In a time of disease we can adapt this form to include more space.

Connect  the  space  between  your  hand  and  your partner’s  hand keeping  a  feeling  of  overall  connection.    

In  a  matter-­‐of-­‐fact  way follow the  connection. letting the hands  lead both of you  off  your  spot  on  the  floor.

Return  to  stillness.

Play by relating with shapes.  Change  shapes faster  than  the  speed  of  the  mind.  

Stop  and  hold  still  in  a  final  shape.      

Play with dropping the connection.  Notice  what  is  it  like, Restore connection and release  it  again. Can you imagine  something  bigger  holding  the  connection?

Put  on  music  and let the hand-­‐to-­‐hand  connection  lead  you  in  a  spirited  dance.    

When  the  music  is  over,  come  to  stillness.  Thank your partner

Take  time  to notice  what  it  was  like  to  follow  the  connection.  Was  it  graceful  or  challenging?  Did you breathe?  Was  there  a  moment  where  you  felt  particularly  “at  one”?  


It  is  slow  work  to  love,  but love is  the  one  thing  that  really makes a difference.  Loving  is  living.  Like  Deena  Metzger says, “there  is  only  time  to  work  slowly,  there  is  no  time  not  to  live.”    


 “I  have  perceived  that  to  be  with  those  I  like  is  enough.  
To  stop  in  company  with  the  rest  at  evening  is  enough.  
To  be  surrounded  by  beautiful,  curious,  breathing,  laughing  flesh  is  enough….  
All  things  please  the  soul,  but  these  please  the  soul  well.”   

Walt Whitman



When I told my grandpa that I was getting married, his response was to quote Shakespeare, “True love doesn’t always run smooth.”  Indeed!

Mystics are as healthy and unhealthy in Love as anyone, maybe more since we feel so intensely. We may lead others on the journey to understand Love, but, Love is mysterious. 

We move along in the great organic improv of life, simultaneously dancing between passion and impassion, comfort and panic, security and adventure, home and strangeness, connection and letting go. This Dance requires trust and that biggie–surrender to the Dance itself. Add the dynamic of attraction. Attraction makes us feel happy, uplifted, serene, affectionate, playful and affirming. When it’s present, we enjoy creating meaning together. Conversely, we get tied up in knots if we focus on someone or something unavailable or gone.

Love Pain, the opposite of attraction, stirs up grief, loss, isolation, abandonment, anger, rage, resentment, fear, anxiety, depression, highs, obsessive thinking and behavior, and spaciness. 

Do we listen to our body or not? 

If we look for Love in heightened experience alone, we miss the portal to the peace that passes all understanding. This peace is the great Love organizer. Once rooted in it, our world and relationships flourish and grow tall. Contradictorily, we cannot find this peace unless we learn to listen to our own body, move our energy, breathe, live and play with it all.


In InterPlay, grace invites us to notice and affirm our bodyspirit data. We ask, “What does my body want? Will it be good now and good later? 

In a more relaxed state of play, old patterns make themselves known. Old pain offers itself up to be rewired. We step onto a dance floor into a choreography that leads beyond us. Our bodyspirit communicates when something is missing, lifeless, freaked out, disorganized, traumatized, or biochemically challenged.  We can shake it out. We can listen to the whole of experience. We can plant our hearts in the long Dance.

I am so grateful for the wisdom teachings of Love, natural gifts that welcome Love, and for the Source of Love Itself.  
I appreciated reading Joan Pasco’s writing this week. She is an astrologer and artist who highlights all the forms of Love that emerge in a group, with a friend, animal, nature, studying a beautiful idea, practice, or in direct connection with the Sacred. Her forecast for this time is worthy of note.

If love pain is a real deal you might check out the forty questions for love addicts anonymous for clues about love confusion. http://www.loveaddicts.org/40questions.html.